Life's delicate balance

So today is the first day that I got out of bed with the kids before school. I actually feel okay, well---at least I don't feel like I was ran over by a truck last night. Maybe like I was hit a week ago and I am healing. :/

This morning Weston and Jake did not have any clean shorts. I almost cried. They have pants for goodness sake, they can wear them. But they both chose to wear shorts that they had already worn once before. Heck, I do that with my jeans all the time. However, it is just little things like that almost send me over the edge. Last Saturday night we had the medical benefit dinner. I had to put my best face forward but I have not gotten out of bed since. The only things I have done is go to the bathroom, eat, and go to one dr's appointment.

So my delicate balance act begins on days like today. I feel okay and I have so much to do. Justin already does so much. I don't want him to feel bad. He already does enough and he could not possibly do any more. So, days like today...I put a load of laundry in and rest. Then I do something else and rest. Then we play this little game of "Don't do too much, you will run yourself down". So, I have to just live with piles of clean laundry. At least they are clean. They may be wadded up and wrinkled but at least they are clean right? Then you should see how Weston comes home dressed some days! He teacher must think we are nuts...

I am such a strong independent woman and it is very difficult to depend on others for everything. One thing I hope to get back from surgery is the Independence of driving. That will be a huge gift back. No, I take that back...I hope to get three things: the ability to drive, relief from migraines, and ability to walk (unassisted).

Please God, give me the strength to get through the good and bad days with strength and dignity....