"Toughen up buttercup"

It has been four long, horrible, horrendous, hellacious, months since I got viral meningitis. I have not worked. I have not left my bed much. Really, I have been in bed about 22-24 hours a day. Much of the first 3 months, I had my head buried in the covers with the shades drawn. It took me approximately 6-8 weeks to get into the neurologist and another 4 weeks for the first migraine medications to begin to prevent some of the migraines. Other than the dr's appointments, occasional baseball game, softball game, one 20 year high school reunion for my husbands PHS class of 1990, and occasional walking/riding with my kids to and from school, my butt has been planted in my bed. I am not telling you this to feel sorry for me. No that is not it at all. I just want you to know the reality. I am still very happy. I have a lovely family. They are helpful and happy and cheerful. Their life goes on. I watch them come and go. They just do things around me. I just enjoy them more. I look into their eyes more. I enjoy their giggles more. I just love them. As I have shared with some of you, my sister Dondi, has the same illness. She had the same surgery that I am hoping to have. I think it was about a year and a half ago but I could not swear by it. Time no longer exists in my head. It is the weirdest thing. I can not tell if it has been 10 minutes or 10 hours. I guess that is a good thing. It may be a defense mechanism for when I am in pain. Hopefully that will resolve. Anyway, she has suffered for so long in silence. She is the one that gave me the advice to "Toughen up buttercup". So that is why I bit the bullet and went to the baseball and softball games, the reunion, and most recently the lake. Oh goodness am I glad I did. We just floated at the lake. We did not tube like we would usually. But the girls laid out and the little boys jumped off the rocks and swam their little tiny butts off. I have never enjoyed them so much. So when you look at my pictures on Facebook. I may look skinny. I may look like I am not enjoying myself. But inside my crazy head, I am having the TIME OF MY LIFE!